Why is it that certain people are always so Zen-like and peaceful, while the rest of us seem to be in a constant state of flux, anxiety, and overwhelm?
Of course, how calm or wild you feel on a regular basis depends on a lot of factors, including your genetics and the stresses in your current life. Here’s what many folks are unaware of, though:
Developing healthier behaviors might help you have a more peaceful mind.
Whether by design or accident, calm individuals who continuously maintain their composure have developed coping mechanisms that enable them to remain composed in the face of stress and chaos.
Try developing these six habits if you want to become a more composed person.
1. Keep your expectations in check
Expectations are frequently deceptive protective mechanisms used to combat feelings of powerlessness and uncertainty.
You can create the illusion of control by withdrawing into your own head and telling yourself stories about how things should be when you are unable to effectively influence an external circumstance or are too scared to try.
For instance:
Let’s say your supervisor isn’t the best at encouraging you, especially when it comes to team meetings. He’s been requested to be more supportive multiple times, but nothing has changed.
You’ve developed the habit of telling yourself tales about how he ought to be encouraging and how successful managers always act in this way. You act in this way because, for a little while, it provides you with something to do that makes you feel productive and in control of the situation.
Naturally, over time, these expectations are unreasonable and will always be unmet, which will result in a never-ending cycle of disillusionment, annoyance, and uncharacteristically erratic attitudes and behaviors.
In the near term, expectations provide us the impression of control. However, they just serve to agitate us over time.
Calm people understand that the temporary relief that comes from having high expectations isn’t worth the long-term worry they cause.
Thus, learn to be doubtful of your own expectations and narratives about how things should be if you wish to cultivate more inner serenity and peace of mind.
